Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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