Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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