I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
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It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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