Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
