I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
