Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
