Whod you bang
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you traded sex for a burrito?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
