i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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