Define "chronic" masturbator.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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