I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
