dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
