She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
