I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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