He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
