is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
