Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
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