No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
