Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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