you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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