Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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