there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
home. puking in laundry basket.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
