She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
