he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
