garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
