I will die if light touches me.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
