People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
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We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
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My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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