I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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