Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
me + whiskey = a bad person
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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