Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize