Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
