i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
