If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
