so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
