So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
