Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
