guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
