Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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