i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
