Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Everything about him screamed your future.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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