she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
