Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
