We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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