Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
