dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
