so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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