Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I am naked and annoyed.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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