I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
how drunk are you?
Several
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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