I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
only you would photoshop your dick
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
