at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
