I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
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we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
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what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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