wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
