Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
