I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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