does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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