They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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