it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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