super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
