What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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