oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
