Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
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I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
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Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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