The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
