I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
