what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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