I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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