Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
