I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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