I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
