Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
